Sunday, December 14, 2008.

Wow... it had been like 3mths since i blog??? hmmm.. yup.. gotten myself a new low-paying job.. :( but is a brand new experience for me working at a warehse environment... this new company is dealing with loreal products which includes shu uemura, biotherm, hr, lancom & perfumery... colleagues are fine so far except for one newly joined OM whom is too proud of himself to listen to others advices!!! my boss the GM is kinda ok la... nt too fussy but want things fast... i should count myself lucky for being able to get a job before the crisis sets in... thank god!!!

X'mas is coming, but does anyone feel the atm of xmas??? NOPE! perhaps due to the economic crisis bah... or perhaps is only me due to my lower salary??? well, my frenz r all doing away w xmas xchange due to busy schedules, last min arrangements & laziness bah... mayb as one grows older, they tend to do away with many fanciful ideas n get tired with all the oh-it's-so-fun gimmicks bah...

CNY is just 1 mth away n i m still carrying the stupid extra 5kgs on me... yucks... i feel god damn fat... hai... must try my very best to lose wt sia... else CNY ppl will start sayin i gain wt... sian...

Nightmares nv fail me once coz i just had 2 this week due to my previous employment w my stupid irritating fren... if anything should happened to her.. she deserves it!! seriously do... nt that i dun have a heart but watever she does to others n myself is definitely 100times worser... i just hope the coming 2009 would be better...

Sometimes guys thinking really frustrates me alot esp the way they disrespect gers.. degrade gers... treat gers as toys... play with gers feeling... yet to say themselves right! i totally cant condone their freaking childish n oh-i-m-so-man kinda thinking.. they got to start growing up n changing their thinking.. when they said gers r nothing, they better think twice coz they came fr woman and they better nt have sis or daughters coz if anything should happened to their sis/daughters like the way they treated their gfs.. they wont like it n wont be able to tolerate it! guys who think that gers cant live without them, wake up their f*cking ideas coz in this modern era, gers need not depend on guys for a living.. we fight for our own dreams, fulfil our own expenditure! really pisses me off the way some idiotic guys treat their gf or rather flings! unforgiveable!!!!! argh....

things had been quite ok for my pa's biz... is moving finally!! less burden on my shoulder... i just pray tat the fellow dun play my dad out... i m just getting freaking tired abt what's goin on for the past 1 yr... this yr was a real pain in the ass for me.. just so many things to handle n go through... so many emotional rollercoaster for me to go through all alone.. not that my frenz arent there for me... they are but one had to handle it herself... sometimes i wonder y i had to go through all these... when a ger is in a rs, she is just plainly stupid.. i m too! i hope i still wish to continue on with this n have the capability to hang on... tiredness seems to overwhelm me...

{ 12/14/2008 07:52:00 PM }

Wednesday, September 10, 2008.

Ok.. i m officially out of job like for more than 2 weeks!! and i am seriously getting bored at home... staying home to nuah = no $$$... S'poreans really cant stay home coz everything cost us $$ even by turning the tap open! haha.. this is by my hairstylist... which i gathered that it is freaking true!!!! Look at the number of ERP gantries opening or waiting to be opened, honestly, look around yourselves and observe does this ERP gantries really reduces traffic jams??????? my point of view is NO! coz if we have to travel, we have to right?? especially if we are running late and hoping into a cab at peak hours, worst still if in CBD area = $8/9 bucks gone before you even start out the journey.. bloody sh*t! i think our SM mentioned that the solution to reducing the no. of vehicles is to increase the price of cars, i totally feel this is a better measure which i used to keep saying y are cars so ex in SG but right now.. i think this better than havin more ERPs... althou the increase in car price means more complaints and less sales for the car companies as well as country's revenue, it reduces the no. of car per household and might put a 2nd tot to parents buying a car for their teenage kid who just passed his driving test...
It really sent shivers down my spine when i saw the news on the 16yrs old kid driving his bro's car and gotten himself his life at such a young age... perhaps as parents or siblings, do not give any knowledge to younger siblings who did nt have their licences where ur spare keys are.. it is nt only doing yourself n family good but the society too..

Left my employment with my freaking irritating, irrational, dumb, stupid, idiotic, bad-tempered, crazy, arrogant, self-deceptive and integrity-missing so called "fren" boss... she was the one whom pulled me out of the previous employment to help her and now kicking me off after i've helped her set-up the office ops and admin + accts.. wat in subordination and different directions!!! haha.. wat a joke! is she tat stupid to have nt realised that if i m the only one against her i m the prob but now is most colleages din like her... for her indecisiveness and forever changing instructions, how are we supposed to work??? and her level of comprehension towards ppl words and pt of view is worst than a primary sch kid.. (this is by my dear bf...) haha... it is one of my most regreted decision to have left my previous job and join her... and this really bothers me even till today... this freaking bitch really makes me feel like giving her a tight slap across her UGLY face.. f*ck her freaking all guys likes her wan her to be their partners.. pls.. wake up yr goddamn idea, n stop thinking these guys like u coz THEY DUN!!! how thick skin... *er xin sh*t * argh... i've learnt my lesson, even ur so-called fren can betray u in this way so from now on i gonna be really careful with people i know from work... DISGUSTING!! *pui pui pui*

well... everything seems to go the wrong way since the beginning of this yr for me.. all the problems nv seems to stop surfacing and i am really sick and tired... jobs, health, r/s, money & everything... really hope to past this yr quickly..

{ 9/10/2008 12:33:00 AM }

Saturday, August 09, 2008.

Happy National Day to all!

But it is nt a happy one for me.. enough of "wei qu" and unhappiness building inside.. Sometimes i just wonder why i should go to the extend to tolerate everything and not voice out.. just be'coz i keep quiet and let it past time after time, this gives the right to treat me like this? take me for granted for all the things i've done... so what if i cant list out the things i've done one by one, is coz i did things from the bottom of my heart and there is simply no point pening down every single thing i do... it is always justifiable for all the things i am angry with so i am the petty one getting angry at all the little little things ya? i am all about unreasonable, control-freak, attitude problem, naive, bitchy! expect me to be like a brainless ger or good-tempered ger who behaves like dog, NO WAY! i am who i am, why must i purposely please ppl.. and who are those ppl who dunno me to comment on me.. I've been true to all my frenz, i have faith they see that in me.. After all those words, it only let me gather one thing - MISTAKE! whatever it is, i already had enuff.. really enuff.. !

{ 8/09/2008 05:29:00 PM }

Friday, July 11, 2008.

It had been a real bad year so far... just so many things to worry and fuss about.. all the bad things nv seems to stop rolling into my life... and i m just nt coping with my stupid TM... i hate this kinda feeling... feeling of lack of knowledge when entering examination hall... thus, i decided to take a break after this exams also lessen the modules per sem from 2 to 1... I m just nt motivation enuff to carry on perhaps due to my laziness n finding all sort of excuses...
Work had be real bad... just nt happy at all.. dun wanna mention much...
I felt i m having emotion disorder... seriously.. sudden change of mood had been a norm nowadays!
On a lighter note, i finally took up belly dancing course and also fulfill my 1st wish to buy myself a diamond ring... cheap cheap for my pinky to "ke xiao ren"... haha... And, from today onwards... i m determined to lose weight together with my dearest bf.. :) Coming to be 1 1/2 yrs of r/s... all had been fine... squabbles often but r/s still strong.. i really do appreciate Charlie in my life... *smIling*

{ 7/11/2008 11:52:00 AM }

Sunday, May 18, 2008.

Pissed is the only word best to describe my feelings for my 22nd birthday... it seems like after 21st, any other birthday following after is not impt or considered as no big deal except perhaps when u r 70.. not saying this coz my bf or family or my pigz or even my colleagues din do anything.. i have main targeted audience... i mite pissed them off but i dun care coz they pissed my off even more that i just couldnt be bothered more when they dont at all... had a sickly birthday, din go work... took MC and stayed at home... "-_- but my bf was sweet, he was so "on" when my bro said that he wanna have swensens n off we went at 10++ to T2 swensens n have ice-cream! din have a big celebrations but the happiness is huge.. i m contented w such small cosy celebration.. of coz my pigz did squeeze some time to meet up w me b4 our dear ms tan shu juan goes to US.. i kinda miss her... went clubbing n the same nite they came over n sg bought me a little gift.. my boss sent me a bouquet of flowers to my hse!! first time ever i receive flowers at my home.. *beaming with joy*
n my dear sj text me says a surprise for me on my email n guess wat i was least happy abt wat i saw... is a production for me by my canoeist girls BUT DONE SOLELY BY MY DEAR SJ n NO ONE ELSE... dun make others bz with irresponsibilities & excuses.. i m not taking it.. the fact is tat she is going over to US the next day and yet she bother to do this very nicely done up e-card for me n i know is nt a 10mins effort lor.. this is wat i call fren, frenz whom bothered to take 2-3hrs off their exams schedule to celebrate ur bday, come on even thou many things happening at home, arrange for earlier celebration knowin tat they cant do it on the day itself, frenz who bother to sms me n wish me well.. if this kinda expectation is high i can only say i rather keep the worthy frenz n throw the rest aside coz they are simply nt worth my time, concern, effort & money... Enough said... my conclusion is tat fr this bday, i saw who are frenz n who r nt.. n DREAM ON for any chances of me putting effort into the frenship n turn-up at any of the celebrations coz U WILL B LAST ON MY LIST!

{ 5/18/2008 12:36:00 PM }

Monday, March 10, 2008.

It had 2 mths since i blog and nothing really much to blog abt... things haven been good.. i m under tremendous stress from home.. i had been losing my sleep so much so that my dark rings are so bad, it is like seeing ghost.. many things just surface on my brain when i try to sleep.. it had been almost 2-3weeks of torment and headaches, i lost interest in going out.. all i wan to do is to stay home, play my nintendo ds, watch tv, talk to my bro & sis, clean up my closet & surf the net.. i lost interest in clubbing despite the tremendous to club... it had been a long time since i felt this way, and back then was 3+ yrs ago.. history repeats itself? mayb.. i nv believe in giving up to destiny, i am not willing to.. i chose to fight on and show a happy face coz i m nt willing to just sink! i tot everything was good but who knows it was an illusion.. and now i m being shake awake from this dream of mine.. i know i must not just give up fighting but honestly, i am very drained.. i wished there is this someone to share with me but i know i m alone, i cant rely on anyone.. i hate to go through this again and again.. nothing seems to change and it is even harder for human to change.. there is only so much i can do, i am also a human.. a plain & simple ger.. it is only natural for me to feel tired after these few yrs.. my heart is faint, my courage is fading, my will is weaker, my emotion is older..

I wished for more support yet all i get is more & more heartaches.. so what if i tell, does it make any difference? no.. paying lip-service is just such a simple job.. the feeling of being attached is so amazing yet so painful.. i hate to be misunderstood.. i hate to be stereotype.. i hate to be so strong that i had to manage everything by myself.. i hate to be so emotionally dependent whenever i like someone.. i hate myself for keeping everything inside and refused to say it out now but it seems so into me now.. i only say what i deems would only please people and yet displeasing myself so much internally that i felt the blood dripping each day.. i dont expect similar returns but at least appreciate and look at what i am willing to do for you.. i nv like to rmb or keep reminding ppl abt what i do for them, so don't ask me what i've done for u coz i will nv been able to tell u all.. i took ur responsibilities as part of mine without much complain yet to find myself being hurt time after time by what u deem me as...i wished u can try to understand what i m going through and been there for me to give me mental support.. i've nv forgotten what u've done for me and nv taken it for granted but think through all these while, have you unintentionally took me for granted then? u nv know how much i am keeping inside of me just to make u happy and to paint the greatest picture of all times.. and the words which nv fails to reverberate inside me poking me slowly and painfully..

The yr din begin well and hasnt been well, too much tears to stop it overflowing out from my eyes, too much emotions to cope with, too much stress to overcome, too much pain to bare with.. and i m losing it to my temper.. i m becoming such a nasty tempered person now and i dunno y.. pls dun think of asking me to church.. i nv like that.. y do it seems like happiness is so far away from me now?

{ 3/10/2008 05:58:00 PM }

Friday, January 25, 2008.

CNY is drawing near and i felt the least excited abt it.. perhaps.. i was really low on budget for shopping this yr plus family isnt doing that well esp dad's business.. not again.. i hated tat!!! it sucks.. plus the price tags of all the CNY goodies are on the rise.. living in SG is just getting so freaking ex yet our pay is nv on the rise.. gd economy??? i really doubt so.. to start off.. the yr was so-so & it turned bad...
I had my very first experience to visit gynae all alone.. not coz i m pregnant.. (i know u ppl must be thinking that direction!) i had some infection at my little "sis" & it was causing me soo much discomfort tat i too half day off work just to visit the doc... search online to see if there is any in hg.. found a few & only manage to get the one near to kovan mrt, they did nt state if the doc is female or male.. i was too disturbed to bother too much.. went there & found tat the doc is MALE! argh... i cant tolerate anymore.. pluck up my courage step into the clinic.. it was sooo quiet & there are 3 nurses.. "-_- after a short while, the doc actually came out to look for me and ask me in.. went in told the doc abt the condition & he asked for a nurse to come in.. the details i shall leave it out... interested, can ask me personally... on the whole.. it was a not-as-frightening experience as i tot it would be.. but it is definitely nt one gd experience.. anyway, i am recovering real fast & should be fine tmr or the day after..
Also, i "damaged" my face by picking on the black heads & causing my whole face to have many many pimples & red patches.. argh!! 1+ week to CNY and thanks to my stupid itchy hand... now i've got myself a big rotten face... *bleah*
on the lighter note.. i lost close to 2kgs in less than 2-3 weeks.. with my bf.. also i had been jogging more often except this week.. went pulau ubin with my dear bf & his fren, had seafood & ride around to explore the pl (it was my bf 1st time to pulau ubin leh!! haha).. in less than a week, it would be our 1st yr anniversary & we've exchange pressie already.. couldnt hold on to the secret, cant wait to see his expression on his face so i gave him the pressie.. it was something ex but he really deserve it... HAPPY 1st YR to me & charlie!!!

{ 1/25/2008 10:54:00 PM }

Wednesday, January 09, 2008.

A brand new 2008 started off with a brand new job... yes.. i am in my new job!! PA to MD... a newly step-up company called MyGlobalEC Pte Ltd dealing in trading and right now trading GOLD... hehe!!! Did my first minutes of meeting yesterday with some help from my MD, was proud to have it quite well done... not much changes to the first draft... *phew* my new office is near the funan IT mall so if u r nearby around 1pm.. ask me out for lunch.. my lunch hr is from 1-2pm.. and working hrs is back to normal office hrs from 9-6pm.. so i can go out.. yay!

Somehow when i started in this company, i felt a strong sense of lost and emptiness.. is like a change in totally different environment feels extremely weird and to have your fren as yr boss is even weirder.. but things are good.. i learnt stuff from my MD.. she is a capable women and i really admire her for that... better than the previous BIT*CH who literally is capable of nothing.. nothing except to command and poke her nose into other ppl's personal life! somehow, my MD made me feel tiny.. her frenz/business partner/clients are all very capable ppl and this makes me feel quite inferior as well as the will to strive hard to achieve such high standard... i wan to be someone knowledgeable and profound.. speaks with great confidence and poses great personality... i m not into someone mediocre and tiny.. i cant stand it.. this means that i've got to work and learn extremely hard and stop slacking... make my first million in years to come.. ... if i wanna be a tai-tai in future, i've got to start today... i wanna travel to help ppl in africa, vietnam, cambodia, etc.. I've got to read, hear and watch... must stop procrastinating abt reading.. widen my horizon... improve my "half a bucket" languages.. there seems to be sooooo much to read and upgrade myself with...

I am putting exercise my first priority now, i hate those big lumps of fats at my tummy.. protruding out whenever i sit down.. feeling of my pants getting so bloody tight.. seeing my face so round and ugly on pictures.. i hate the FAT me!! routine started on Mon, i've got near to 3 weeks before i start to shop for CNY clothings... *fat fat go away, dont ever come again!* haha... oh! i might be going to acupuncture to lose wt, my fren recommended me!

Anyone interested in belly dancing or exotic dancing at Jitterbugs studio, sms me.. we go together ok???? go for gym or running or exercising, pls ask me esp if it is near to hg or tampines (<--- self proclaim 2nd home.. Lol!) or town area after work.. And also, taking of driving license? anyone??

Time really flies.. almost a yr of r/s and it still feel like yest... (right, my dear bf?) what should i get for him.. still thinking hard... where should i eat.. still thinking hard...

At the end of 2007, i gathered these are what i've learnt & gained:
1. my dear bf & his family
2. my dearest pigz (sj,wt,hl,hw & bird)
3. my beloved gers team (fio,xp,lj,sj again! & wj)
4. my crazy gers (cassan,xy,sheryl,sg,sarah)
5. to carry a small dog & be less afraid of them (i still scare of big ones!!)
6. my office mummy (agnes wong)
7. my da jie (erica)
8. don't torture yrself to please everyone in office/work
9. time to let go, let go and dont turn back
10. 5-6kg of fats!! (this is plain disaster.. haha!)
11. credit cards of my own (not supp card ok.. hehe..)
12. a newborn niece (sherliya)
13. a videocam & dunhill old-until-dunno-like-what watch
14. many many little surprises & sweetness from my bf
15. not too bad 21st party (thank u all!)
16. a special xmas with my bf
17. 1st time letting fishes eating your "feet"

That's about it.. stay tuned for cny updates.. lol!!

{ 1/09/2008 03:23:00 PM }

Tuesday, December 25, 2007.

We wish u a Merry Xmas, we wish you a Merry Xmas, we wish you a Merry Xmas and a happy New Year!! MERRY XMAS to all my friends out there... Hoho!!!

It had be a great Xmas for me as i've planned it way back in Aug this yr.. i've booked a room in Siloso Beach Resort so as to spend quality time away from town with my dear bf... it was a disaster when we checked in yesterday... gave us a god damn room facing a pile of waste metals.. they are just simply messing with the wrong ger... anyone else but me JEANNE NEO! haha... i called the rsvn immediately and asked for the guy who took my rsvn and he was gone~ ok.. i shouted... yes i did! at the ger talking to me and told her i booked 4 bloody mths in advance to get a gd sea view and all i see is a pile of rubbish <--- i used this word... haha..... but the ger was gd, she helped me changed to a room facing the sea!~ this shows sometimes u need to be a little bit fierce... haha... mayb more... went to the underwater world, did not go in but did a temporary tattoo at my hips (coz charlie kept saying i should try) and went for fish reflexology... it was cool.. with the little hungry looking fish nibbling on your feet... very ticklish at first... but was enjoyable session.. had out dinner at trapizza.. quite nice food... went to 4-d matrix cinema things and the new BORING cineblast (dont ever waste ur money there!) at night... supper and drink at cafe del mar which was located right in front of our hotel... go back hotel sleep.. breakfast at siloso beach resort was pretty good.. and back to charlie's pl just few hrs ago.. hehe.. had a little unhappiness yest but it was all gd, thanks to the fishes which send the both of us giggling easing the tension.. lol! i recommend couples to go for the fish reflexology... kinda cute thing to do together....

End of story... it also meant that i've marked an end to my career in PP.. resigned on the 18th and they've let me go immediately.. .say i m practical or "yao gui",it was after the x'mas party then i resigned but who cares.. this whole yr i've put in alot of effort in the finance dept.. i deserve it.. no year end bonus ok!!!!!!!!!! i've gotten the outstanding contribution award this yr.. and guess what.. last yr was cartier watch.. this yr i've gotten a dunhill almost too old for me and battery flat watch..which i dun think was that fantastic and a sanyo video camera.... this company doesnt deserve my hard work.. guess what did my bitchy boss said after i left to my office mummy Agnes??? "company nv mis-treat her what? how can she leave the company when the company is most bz???" hello, get a life... *ucker* who is most bz??? me ok... i can hardly breathe managing 3 persons job plus u n the MD keep calling me to do those anyone can do job.. how to finish my job??? i m already good enuff.. rushed through the inv and claims and whatever.. keeping it up to date before i leave ok.. stayed till u r back then i leave.. i can simply go missing but i did not wan to.. my fren was right.. they would nt appreciate ur effort... once u turn away, no more "gan qing"... i saw it for myself... even resigning i got to wait till u approve??? u think i f*ck care??? sorry i dont... i wan to be but u've made me not wan to be.. so too bad.. i had enough of u trying to control my life and even my bf's lives.. u dont own us... so f*ck off... enuff of complaining.. but i m glad i m out for good... lookin forward to my new job... starting in Jan 08...
Sch ended and my degree will start in May 08 as i've decided to go for the later intake... On the whole, i've gotten 5 distinctions & 3 high distinctions for my dip... I guess i did well... *yay* anyone wanna reward me? lol... that's all for now...

{ 12/25/2007 03:50:00 PM }

Thursday, November 08, 2007.

As usual, i am busy with school and work and this would be my last 2 modules and by the end of Nov, i will be free from school again.. but will be going to further my studies in Jan 08... just hope everything turns out fine this module.. *cross my fingers* totally had no confident with my accounting... plus my commercial law... hai.. the amt of stuff to memorise is like oh my god~!

It is SIN GUAN's 21st birthday today!! happy birthday gaL!!!!!!

Went to celebrate sin guan's bday yesterday and ended in her hse playing her dogs.. not hers.. her sis... i am so scare of them initially but they turn out quite cute and huggable.. mayb if i have my own hse i would want a dog to accompany us.. hehe... i know it is a life long commitment (i mean the dog's whole life)

Brought my little sis to birdpark 2-3weeks ago as that was her little reward for mugging for her PSLE and the results will be out soon.. i hope she doee me proud... i am quite confident.. wah... the food there is like so bloody ex... sky high ex... i just dun understand why they charge so bloody high prices for the food... :/ Things are good... i had a newborn niece... hehe... she will be one mth old next sat... getting older... alot of problems here and there... just the day before i woke up with a sharp pain on the lower back and i was like so handicap the whole day... tat's all for the time being.. guys.. pls let's go party,blading,beaching,shopping and chilling out after your exams.. I WOULD BE A FREE GER SOON... yippie~~~

{ 11/08/2007 10:43:00 PM }

narcissism.

jEaNne Neo
14 mAy 1986
TaurUs/tIgresS
mFps, xMss, nyjC and sMa-sch of managemeNt
lOves sunFlowers, roseS, puRple, perFumes, clotHes!!!!, shOpping, eatIng, hangIng out with freNz, golden tAn n my family

materialist.

i want this

A better working environment
Good break
Sleep
10kg of fats off my body
Driving license
New cupboard.. i need more space for my clothes!
Killer abs so i can pierce my bellybutton!
Treat my family to dinner
Degree
A shoes cupboard for all my shoes!!!

voices.

memories.

February 2005 March 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 March 2008 May 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 December 2008

thanks.

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